I'm sitting in my office barely awoke on the verge of investing all my hard earned money into a Starbucks chain, given the amount of coffee I plan on drinking today, I ponder what this election really meant for this great country and for a minute I couldn't come up with anything. What I could come up with was what this election showed me about this country, my race and the south.
Last night, my Facebook was filled with hatred, bigotry and racist talk and sprinkled with a mixture of ignorance from both sides. I was in such disport because of the behaviors of my so-call friends that I had to wake up and post a disclaimer on my Facebook page.
As a little girl growing up in Mississippi, I dreamed of becoming the first Woman president, not even caring about being the first Black president. I remember kids laughing at me and the teacher telling me that I had to think more realistic such as being a teacher, a nurse, a secretary and all of those girlie jobs that I could not connect with.
In high school, I remember being called a nigger on several occasions and as an adult receiving the same disrespect as before. While at Jackson State University, I had the opportunity to see history made, we elected the first Black president of the United States of America. I was so proud, but that moment of pride was quickly replaced with discontent and embarrassment for my people. A people so blinded by their socioeconomic status that they don't even bother to care. I remember hearing a girl say she wasn't going to school because her president was black. As I listened to all the ignorance being said, I remember seeing angry White guys protesting the election.
Over the past four years, I have watched my president be disrespected like never before. I have watched people walk up to him and talk to him in the most condescending way possible and nothing be done. I have watched people talk about him as if he were the scum of the earth. I have watch people call him the antichrist and I have heard military personnel say they will not follow his orders because he is not an American. I have watched Donald Trump disrespect him and some of my own race sell out because of this partisanship in our own political system. I have witnessed the economy fall under Bush and slowly rise under the president.
Now some four years later, I am at the University of Arkansas working on my Master's degree in Communication and I have experienced firsthand how prevalent ignorance, bigotry and racism still exist. I was dehumanized, embarrassed and humiliated while a Teaching Assistant but I had to still hold my head up high and move on with my day because I have a reminder of the possibilities that await me every time I hear my president speak.
Just when I thought things were getting better in this nation under Obama's leadership, ignorance and racism once again peaked around the corner to remind me of just how the South is still so bent on Jim Crow that change in not in the near future. I remember standing on campus waiting on the bus to take me home after a long day of teaching and an even longer night of classes and the first thing I heard that night was a loud truck and some guys yelling out to me, "Hey you Nigger". What's sad is that I wasn't upset at them, I was disappointed. I wasn't angry, I felt sorry for them. I immediately wanted to pray for them because obviously there was some deeply rooted hatred in them that would never change but may pass down to their children.
On many occasions, I have sat in my office and heard conversations that were very offensive and hurting to me as a person of color, overheard people I thought were my friends make semi racist jokes and laugh it off as if not offensive and to keep from being the angry black woman everyone tries to make me into, I take it in, hold it in and never say a word.
Today, as I sit at my desk, isolated from everyone else, I am at awe at what has transpired in the last 24 hours. President Obama was reelected as the 44th president of the United States and if you look at the map, he still didn't win the south. What's sad is that the south is predominately the minority states and we still vote republican. What's even sad is that we can stand in line for hours for a concert, days for a pair of Jordan’s but couldn't and wouldn't stand in line for the most important election of our lives.
When I checked the news, the first thing I say was Old Miss students protesting and burning Obama/ Biden signs and the first thing that I felt was embarrassment for my state. A state so bent upon keeping Jim Crow alive that they have no respect for the position in which the president holds. I have never heard of a riot because someone won the election, so it is evident that race is the cause! This is sad, it shows that we have not progressed and are not headed there yet. As I look on Facebook, all I hear is yeah I can still keep my food stamps and all the other stupid language that is fueling this hatred.
I am so sick and tired of my people playing into the stereotypes given to them of the welfare queen, the lazy nigger. Get off your butts and get a job, stop waiting on people to hand stuff to you because you make it hard for people of your own race who actually need social security, food stamps and other assistance to survive. Ignorance is bliss for some people. You cannot and will not be able to demand respect from others when you don’t even demand respect for yourselves. Mississippi, Arkansas and Alabama should have been Blue states this year because this president serves their best interests but people are so blinded by racist talk and religious beliefs that you refused to vote for someone who clearly works for poor and middle classed people.
I watched Black pastors tell people not to vote at all because Obama supports gays. We are so bent upon protecting the religious aspect of man and woman being married that we forget our values of treating others the way you want to be treated. Gays are tax payers too; they contribute to this society greatly, just like we do. What’s funny is that we don’t even care about the sanctity of marriage ourselves but we don’t want gays to have the same right also. My other issue was Blacks saying they don’t like Obama because he hadn’t done anything he promised; well look around, none of the politicians have done what they promised. If you want something done, you have to first elect people on the local level that serve your interest because if your state representatives are about parties and not the people, then you are screwed! Stop blaming the president for some stuff he didn’t add too and can’t fix if there is bipartisanship in the house and senate. You want something done; demand it from the house and senate. I am so done venting but I will leave you with this, Abraham Lincoln said “A House Divided Will Not Stand” and he is right, we are crumbling at the core because we care about our issues and race more than we do this great country.
