I have just come to the realization that a lot of black women have anger issues and these issues run deep down inside of them and it compromises their character and who they should be. Being an angry black woman is not something that just happens, it is something that is imprinted and embedded within them. It is my belief that being an angry black woman is a plague, it is a disease and it is something that destroys a woman, therefore it should have a name, Angry Black Woman Syndrome (ABWS).
So where does this syndrome stem from? Is it something that a woman is born with? Is it something that is learned? Is it something they pick up from others? During this blog, I will attempt to explore and answer these questions as best I can.
It is my belief that for some people, this is a learned behavior, sort of like hatred. It is, in a way, a form of hatred that is inherited. Most black women are raised in a single parent household where they are constantly being told by their mother that black men are no good. Their mothers tell them that their fathers are no good, black men are no good, etc and this is where it begins. Because their mother experienced bad relationships, she embed in her child that she doesn't need a man, that men are no good and that child begins to believe them.
For some women, their fathers are the root of it all. Because they have absentee fathers, abusive fathers and so on, they think that all men are that way and their mentality is that by dating men of other races, they have upgraded. But the reality is, you are what you attract. Dating a white man, Asian man, etc will make no difference if it is something within you that attracts these types of men.
Another reason black women are angry is because they have angry friends. When you surround yourself with negative people who have nothing positive going on in their life, they will bring a good relationship into a negative one because they will always find fault in your relationship. They will hate on a good man because they don't want you happy because they aren't. Never surround yourself with negative friends and negative women because they will turn you into that same angry woman that they are.
Finally, some women attract bad relationships because that is what they want. They don't want that man who respects them wears fitted clothes, cares for them. The problem is they see that good man as only the friend type and tend to gravitate towards the thug type of man because in their mind he is what a strong man.
Now let be break it down for you...I came from a single parent household, however, my mother never talked negative about my father even though he was absent in my life. She never said black men were bad. She dated bad black men and good black men, but she still believed. I have dated all races and found that all men are the same regardless of color. It's not a race issue, it is a personality issue. I dated some bad black men because I was attracted to negative black men who were the thug, but now I have a good black man. He opens the door for me, he gives me his coat when it's cold. He respects me, he pays for our food. Don't get me wrong, he still has flaws but a good relationship is give and take. Sometimes you have to learn your place. It's okay to be strong, but don't be so strong that it is perceived as aggressiveness and cockiness. Don't accuse a man of cheating and definitely don't make him pay for all the bad men you've had in your life. Finally, do something to show that good man that you appreciate him. Stop making a man have to work for your love. Love is an emotion not a job and it is give and take.. So while you're out there being an Angry Black Woman, you're missing out on all the good black men, because no man should and wants to pay for another mans mistakes or the hatred you refuse to let go....So thanks to all the good black men that are a constant reminder to me that being an angry black woman really has nothing to do with the man, but more so the anger within the woman...so let go of the ANGRY BLACK WOMAN SYNDROME you have acquired, it's not wanted or needed to be happy!
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